So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
