He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
