I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
