Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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