If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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