WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
