do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
