A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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