yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
