i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
