I think i peed on brittanys purse
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
