I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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