addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
