I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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