Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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