just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
