I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
How's work?
Spinning.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
