And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
