So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Randomize
