i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize