some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize