omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
