He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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