so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
