She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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