And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
