I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
