nut hugger
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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