I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize