so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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