So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
