got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Holy shit dude........stairs
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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