Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
