Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
