He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
