Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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