you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
