just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize