Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I'm both gender and math confused
jump out the window naked night went bad
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