went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
