I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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