White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
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