We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
