I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
