BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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