Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
