I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
