in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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