so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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