Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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