i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
