In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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