It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
