i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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