i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
