Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Dear god my vagina.
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