is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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