sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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