Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
he thought i was a dude.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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