I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
